Monday, May 23, 2011

Results For WWE Raw 5/24/11

Jerry Lawler makes his way to the ring and he says that he doesn’t want to take too much time but he wants to say that finally the long national nightmare is over and Michael Cole has been beaten. Jerry says that he knew that Cole would have a plan to weasel out of kissing his foot so he had an ace up his sleeve. He says that he had a Hart up his sleeve.

Jerry brings out Bret Hart. Bret says hello to the people of Portland. He says that it always makes him happy to be back on Raw. He says that over the years Jerry and him have had their differences but when they fought, he always respected Lawler for the type of competitor he was. Hart says that he has zero respect for Michael Cole. He says that it was his pleasure to make sure that Cole suffered the agony of ‘De-Feet’.

R Truth interrupts Bret and he tells people not to boo him because it is Hitman Hart. Truth says that it is an honor. He says that he cannot believe his eyes. He asks Bret how many times he has been champion. Truth tells Bret not to listen to the fans because they don’t have any sense or home training. Truth wants Bret to guess how many title matches he has been in and Truth answers for him. That number is zero. Truth says that is because Truth didn’t care about the Little Jimmys like Bret did. Maybe it is because Truth never gave them anything. Truth wants Bret to help him help himself. Truth takes Bret’s sunglasses and he wants to perform a little experiment and he looks for a Little Jimmy. Truth says that he is good Truth now as he puts the glasses on Little Jimmy. Truth says that should mean that he is next in line for a WWE Title shot.

Truth says that he isn’t next in line. Truth says that he used to think that wins and losses didn’t matter as long as you gave the people what they wanted. That hasn’t meant diddly squat. He took care of Morrison and Rey. That means that he thinks that actions speak louder than words. Truth suggests that maybe he take care of a Hall of Famer to get a shot.

Bret tells Truth to take a shot at him, but he got his title matches because he was the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. Bret calls Truth a lunatic and says that is why he hasn’t gotten a title match.

John Cena’s music plays and he comes out to the ring. He tells Truth to hold on and asks him to come back to the ring. Cena tells Truth that it is time that they have a little talk. Cena says that he is a little bit beaten up but he is glad to see Bret Hart back in a WWE ring.

Bret congratulates Cena on his win last night.

Cena says that he has had his hands full with the Miz and he wants to know where Truth went crazy. Cena says that he wants to know what’s up. Cena says that they used to be cool with each other and Truth starts rhyming and says that Cena doesn’t know anything about him.

Truth says that the conspiracy that he has been talking about is about John Cena. The people make sure that it is all about John Cena.

Cena says that he makes sure that it is all about these people.

Truth wants to know why people want the new John Cena merchandise. Truth says that he wants his son back.

Truth tells Cena that the truth is that he never liked Cena. Cena and Hart are the same. They are a propaganda tool to make everyone feel good. Truth says that he doesn’t care about the people or how they feel. Truth says that it is all about him. He says that he won’t feel right until he gets his title match.

Cena wants to knock some sense into him but we get a dingy dingy sound.

Josh reads the e-mail and says that he needs to see more from Truth before giving him a WWE title match. He will look close at the tag team main event. R Truth and CM Punk versus Rey Mysterio and John Cena. The guest referee will be Bret Hart.

We go to commercial.

Big Show and Kane are in the parking lot and they are talking about Nexus. Ricardo Rodriguez yells at Show who is sitting on Alberto’s car. Show pushes Rodriguez and then Alberto comes by and yells at Show and Kane in Spanish. Show and Kane walk away.

We go to commercial while Alberto remains incredulous en espanol.

We are back and Punk and Mason Ryan join Josh and Jerry at the announce table.

Match Number One: Big Show and Kane versus Michael McGillicutty and David Otunga in a WWE Tag Title Match

Kane and Otunga start things off and Kane with uppercuts. Kane with a snap mare and Otunga goes to the floor. Otunga misses an elbow drop when Kane returns to the ring. Kane with an uppercut to Otunga and then he sends Otunga into the apron. They return to the ring and Kane works on the arm. Show tags in and he chops Otunga. Show misses another chop and McGillicutty is tagged in. Show backs Michael into the corner and he chops Michael.

Show with another chop to McGillicutty. Show with a savate kick to Michael and he clotheslines him over the top rope. Ryan checks on Michael and we go to commercial.

We are back and Otunga kicks Kane as he re-enters the match. Michael punches Kane in the head. Otunga chokes Kane in the ropes and then he drops Kane on the rope. Michael tags in and he tries to snap mare Kane but he turns it into a cravate. Michael with a drop kick to the knee and then he punches Kane as he tags Otunga back into the match.

Otunga gets a near fall and then he puts Kane in a reverse chin lock. Kane with a big boot to Otunga and both men are down. Michael and Show tag in and Show with a clothesline or two. Show with an Irish whip followed by a running butt splash into the corner followed by a running shoulder. Ryan tries to interfere but Kane takes care of Ryan. Punk kicks Show in the back of the head while Show has Michael and Otunga by the throat and they hit a DDT to get the three count.

Winners: David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time to see the poster for Capitol Punishment with John Cena, Rey Mysterio, and Barack Obama.

We go to a Wal-Mart DVD signing with Randy Orton in St. Louis.

In case you missed the first half hour, we take a look back at the crowning of new tag team champions.

Scott Stanford is with the former tag team champions. Show punches the scenery and he says that they were robbed. Alberto Del Rio stops by and he slaps Show and runs away. We see the car run over Big Show’s leg. Show holds his leg while Kane yells for medical help for Show. Show tries to get up but he falls down as soon as he tries to walk away.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Big Show is still down. Meanwhile, CSI: Portland is not on the scene to check out the car. They try to get Show onto a stretcher and he falls down again. Show says that he is okay and wants some space. Show says that he is fine once he gets on his feet. Show says that he is not going to sit on a stretcher.

Match Number Two: Jack Swagger versus Evan Bourne

Swagger runs Bourne into the corner and then he misses a punch and hits a rana. Bourne runs into a boot from Swagger. Swagger with forearms to the back followed by an elbow drop. Swagger with a belly-to-belly suplex and he gets a near fall. Swagger with a key lock and he picks Bourne up. Bourne with a kick to the head but Swagger tries for the Swagger Bomb but Bourne moves out of the way. Bourne with kicks but Swagger with a kick. Swagger blocks a kick and tries for an ankle lock but Bourne gets free and he gets a rollup. Swagger blocks a rana and then he hits a Doctor Bomb for the three count.

Winner: Jack Swagger

After the match, Swagger does his victory lap but Evan Bourne with a kick to Swagger and Bourne runs out of the ring and to the back.

Michael Cole is walking in the back and he looks dejected while everyone laughs at him. He walks by the Divas and he offers his hand to Eve Torres but Eve gives him her foot.

Cole walks away and we go to commercial.

We are back and Josh and Jerry are waiting for Michael Cole to make his way into the arena and Lawler with a number of ‘foot’ jokes. Josh talks about how Fast Five has made more than $500 million worldwide.

Justin Roberts introduces Michael Cole who makes the walk of shame to the ringside area.

Cole says that he doesn’t deserve the fan’s attention. He says that this isn’t about him anymore. He says it never should have been about him. Cole says that he wants to put this all behind him and Jerry. He wants to apologize to Lawler, Josh, Justin Roberts, the timekeeper, and everyone in Portland.

Cole says that he wants to apologize to everyone watching at home for his reprehensible behavior over the last few months. Cole says that he wants to come home to broadcast Raw like he has done for years. He says no more ‘Cole Mines’ and no more matches.

Cole wants everyone to accept his apology. Cole says that he really really really means it.

Lawler stands up and he tells Cole that it all sounds really good to him. Jerry thanks Michael for coming out and apologizing and being professional. Lawler also thanks Cole for providing him with the picture for his Christmas card this year. Lawler has some Altoids for Cole and Cole says that he deserves that. Cole wants to know if he can come back.

Miz’s music plays and he comes out with the man who couldn’t even help him beat John Cena last night to become a two time WWE Champion.

Miz says that there is only one reason why he didn’t win the WWE Championship last night. That reason is Alex Riley. He says that isn’t a one time phenomenon. He didn’t show up at Extreme Rules to help him with the Steel Cage Match. Then Miz won the title back the next night and we see Riley force the referee to reverse the decision. Then last night at Over the Limit, the plan was working to perfection until Riley screwed it up again and the referee restarted the match and Riley got thrown through the announce table.

Miz asks the anonymous GM for another chance to have a one-on-one title match with Alex Riley banned from ringside. Miz says that he will await the decision.

Miz says that there is no debate about it. Cena wasn’t in a handicap match last night, Miz says that he was because of Riley.

Miz says that he will not be disrespected like this because he should be the WWE Champion right now. Miz vows not to leave the ring until the GM chimes in.

We hear those ding dongs and Josh reads that Miz’s request for another title match is denied. Miz lost so he is done with John Cena.

Miz looks at Riley and he tells Riley that this is all his fault and he calls Riley worthless. Miz wants to know if Riley can explain why he did what he did.

Riley points out that he didn’t say I Quit.

Miz wants to know what Riley said and he pie faces Riley. He tells Riley to shut his mouth. Miz says that he gave Riley a personal services contract and that if it wasn’t for that contract, he wouldn’t be in WWE. Miz tells Riley that he has been riding his coat tails all the way to the main event of Wrestlemania. He says that he is sick of Riley’s stupidity and he is done with him. Miz fires Riley.

Miz pie faces Riley again and Riley punches Miz and they fight to the floor. Riley sends Miz into the ringside barrier and then Riley punches Miz and rips off his shirt. Riley throws Miz over the announce table. They go back into the ring and Riley throws Miz to the mat. Riley kicks Miz in the head and leaves the ring.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Three: Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Melina, and Maryse versus Gail Kim, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, and Beth Phoenix

Kelly and Brie start things off and Kelly with a Thesz Press followed by a spanking and a bulldog.

Kharma’s music plays and she makes her way to the ring.

Beth calls for a unified front as Kharma approaches the ring.

Kharma enters the ring and all eight women remain. Kharma walks into the center of the ring and she is surrounded. Kharma gets down on her knees and she starts to cry. The Divas in the ring are shocked at Kharma’s behavior. We go to commercial.

We are back with a Moments Ago Moment of Kharma’s catharsis.

It is time for the Slam of the Week: Sheamus losing the United States title at Extreme Rules in a Tables Match.

Match Number Four: Kofi Kingston versus Drew McIntyre

They lock up and Drew backs Kofi into the corner and Drew misses a punch but he does not miss with a kick. Drew punches Kofi and after a series of leap frogs, Kofi gets clipped and he appears to have hurt his knee. Drew kicks Kofi’s knee. Drew wraps the knee into the ring post. Drew with a figure four leg lock on the ring post. Drew gets a near fall when he returns to the ring.

Drew kicks Kofi in the back of his injured leg. Drew tries to hyper-extend the knee but when he tries it a second time, Kofi is able to hit an enzuigiri. Kofi with chops to Drew but he hops around. Kofi with a side Russian leg sweep and then he hits the boom drop but Kofi’s leg still hurts. Kofi sets for Trouble in Paradise but he cannot make the turn and Drew gets a near fall.

Kofi punches Drew but Drew with a power bomb but Kofi kicks out. Drew sends Kofi into the corner and he kicks him. Drew punches Kofi and the referee warns him. Drew with clotheslines in the corner and he tries for a short arm clothesline but Kofi counters and hits the SOS for the three count.

Winner: Kofi Kingston

We see Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero watching the match from Vickie’s office . . . and Dolph is blonde again.

In case you missed the dream sequence from last night, we get to see it one more time of President Obama at a ‘WWE press conference’.

Nexus is celebrating their tag title victory and Punk tells them that they need to watch what he is going to do.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Big Show was hit by Alberto Del Rio’s car.

Scott Stanford is with Alberto Del Rio and he is speaking English again. He says that Big Show brought this upon himself, but Del Rio says that it isn’t his fault. He blames this on Ricardo and he calls Rodriguez an idiot.

Jerry Lawler mentions the passing of Randy Savage last week and he says that Savage is a Hall of Famer and one of the greatest WWE Superstars of All Time. We see a video tribute to Randy Savage.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Did You Know that the Wrestlemania 27 DVD has sold well?

CM Punk comes to the ring and he is wearing the colors of Randy Savage.

Match Number Five: CM Punk and R Truth versus John Cena and Rey Mysterio with Very Special Guest Referee Bret Hart

Cena and Truth start things off and Truth misses a punch. Cena with punches followed by a hip toss. Cena sends Truth over the top rope to the floor. Punk checks on Truth and we go to commercial.

We are back and Punk with an elbow to Cena. Punk with punches but Cena with an Irish whip and bulldog. Cena with a suplex but Punk hides behind Bret Hart and then he kicks Cena. Truth tags in and he kicks Cena and then the referee warns Truth. Truth with a hard Irish whip and then he gets a near fall.

Truth with a punch and he gets a near fall. Punk tags in and he kicks Cena followed by a side Russian leg sweep and he gets a near fall. Punk yells at Hart and wants to know where he learned to count. Punk with a slam and then he goes to the turnbuckles and he hits a knee drop and gets a near fall as he continues to yell at Bret. Punk with an arm bar.

Punk keeps Cena from making the tag and he tags Truth into the match. Truth with a suplex to Cena and he gets a near fall. Truth yells at Hart but Hart slaps Truth. Truth with forearms in the corner followed by an Irish whip but he runs into a boot from Cena. Punk tags in and he keeps Cena from making the tag with a double sledge.

Punk with a back breaker to Cena and then he teases a Sharpshooter but Cena counters. Punk gets Cena up for the Go To Sleep and Cena counters with a DDT and both men are down. Punk grabs Cena’s ankle but Cena punches Punk and Rey tags in and he hits the seated splash and then he sends Punk over with a head scissors.