Monday, March 21, 2011

Results For WWE Raw 3/21/11

They announce ‘Good Ole JR’ but it is Michael Cole in a fat suit with a neck brace on his ankle while he limps to the ring with a bottle of JR’s Barbecue Sauce. Josh cannot believe that Cole is doing this while Lawler is silent. Security keeps Lawler away from Cole until he enters the Cone of Silence, that is still on the blink from its days at Control.

The fans chant for Lawler while Cole sticks his tongue out at Lawler.

Now it is time for the people who wrestle for a living to come to the ring and Triple H walks to the ring to unleash the GameFountain before he addresses Undertaker.

Hunter says that he has been in the business almost twenty years and it is a long time to stand in the ring and walk out to look at the fans. He wonders if this is the last time that he will work in this building. In two weeks, it will be the defining moment of his career. It is the defining moment of the Undertaker’s career. He says that he hears everybody talking and he sees the signs. The whole world is talking about this match. Two icons clashing like never before. Undertaker/Triple H, no holds barred.

Hunter says that he has no idea what this match will take out of him or out of the Undertaker. Neither man will ever be the same and he can assure us of that. It is the biggest match that he has ever been in during his life. The streak of eighteen years is bigger than any championship or even all of the championships that he has held combined. Ending that streak will be a career defining moment.

Before they go to the ring and tear each other apart and put each other through hell. He tells the Dead Man to come to Raw next week and stand in the ring. He wants to look the Undertaker in the eye and stand face to face, man to man so he can tell Taker what is going to happen at Wrestlemania. He wants to tell Undertaker to his face that he is going to lose. Hunter says that he will end the streak.

When the streak dies, so does the Undertaker. Hunter says that if cannot do it, he will die trying. Hunter says that he wants that one last opportunity to stand face to face. Just like Taker’s music says: Ain’t no grave that can hold this body down. When he ends the streak, that’s it. It’s done.

He tells Undertaker that at Wrestlemania, he goes 18-1. At Wrestlemania, he will rest in peace.

Ted DiBiase comes out and he has something to say to Hunter. One year ago, he was one of the rising superstars of WWE. He competed in his first Wrestlemania match against Randy Orton. Now he is just an afterthought. Ted says that he won’t be an afterthought any more. Ted suggests that if he takes out the Cerebral Assassin two weeks before Wrestlemania, the people will have no choice but to take notice of Ted DiBiase.

Hunter hits Ted as he enters the ring and then Hunter goes to the floor and he punches Ted. Ted gets in a series of punches but Hunter with a knee and then he sends Ted into the ring steps. Hunter Irish whips Ted into the ring steps and then he slams Ted’s head into the ring steps. Hunter sends Ted into the ringside barrier. Hunter picks up a chair and he hits Ted in the midsection and back with it. Hunter continues to hit Ted with the chair. Hunter rearranges the announce table. Hunter picks Ted up and goes onto the table for a Pedigree through the table. Hunter looks at the Wrestlemania sign.

We will hear from John Cena via satellite later tonight.

Miz will be re-writing Miz-tory tonight.

We go to commercial.

Match Number One: Sheamus versus Evan Bourne

They lock up and Sheamus sends Bourne to the mat. Bourne with kicks but Sheamus sends Bourne into the turnbuckles and hits a short arm clothesline. Sheamus with a kick and knees to the head as Bourne goes to the apron. Sheamus with forearms across the chest while he has Bourne in the ropes. Sheamus with an Irish whip but he misses a charge into the corner. Bourne with a spinning heel kick and then he goes to the apron.

Bourne goes up top but Sheamus moves out of the way on the shooting star press. Sheamus with a boot to the head for the three count.

Winner: Sheamus

After the match, Sheamus gets on the mic and tells us that he is the new champion of the United States of America.

Daniel Bryan comes out to the ring. Bryan says that one of the great things about this country is that everyone gets an opportunity. As a former United States Champion, Bryan wants to invoke his rematch clause and get that match at Wrestlemania.

Sheamus tosses the belt to Bryan and breaking rule #420, he catches the belt. Bryan falls victim to a pump kick.

We will have a Wrestlemania Rewind Match tonight and the match tonight is from Wrestlemania 22 with Randy Orton facing Rey Mysterio (Kurt Angle will not be there).

We go to commercial.

We are back with the WWE Rewind: Randy Orton finishing off Nexus last week.

Randy Orton leaves his bus and Scott Stanford intercepts him. He wants to know what it is like to tour the country in his bus. Orton says that it gives him privacy and a place to think. He says that it is a home away from home. Orton says that he witnessed the birth of the New Nexus and he enjoys watching the footage when he systematically ended it, one punt at a time. Orton says that Punk says that he is sick and twisted, but Punk has no idea what sick and twisted really is.

Match Number Two: Maryse versus Eve Torres in a Non Title Match

The bell rings and Maryse throws the hand and does her pose because that is what wrestling is all about. Eve applauds the way she waves her hair. Maryse and Eve argue and Eve with a punch. Maryse has the referee check her eye but it is a trap and Maryse goes after Eve and slams her head into the mat. Maryse with an Irish whip and a slap to Eve. Maryse slams Eve’s head into the turnbuckle and then she chokes Eve in the ropes. Maryse misses a knee to the back.

Michael Cole interrupts the match while Eve gets a near fall. Eve slams Maryse’s head into the turnbuckles. Eve with an arm wringer followed by kicks and clothesline. Eve yells at Cole in his fortress of suckitude. Eve tries for standing moonsault but Maryse gets her knees up.

Maryse tries for a neck breaker but Eve blocks it and gets the three count with a neck breaker.

Winner: Eve Torres

Cole says that he is glad that the match is over. Eve goes to the Cole PopeMobile and Cole has to use his security. Eve slaps Cole and then as security escorts her out, Cole grows a set.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Did You Know that John Cena does a lot for Make A Wish.

The Corre have made their way to Raw because the Tag Champs are in action. We go to footage from Smackdown when Big Show and Kane faced Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater.

Match Number Three: Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater with Wade Barrett and Ezekiel Jackson versus Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov with Tamina

Santino and Gabriel start things off and Gabriel with a kick but Santino with a split and hip toss. Santino unfurls the cobra and goes after Slater. Gabriel with a kick and he gets a near fall. Slater tags in and he kicks Santino and then puts Santino in a rear chin lock. Santino with a snap mare but Slater grabs the leg to prevent Santino from making the tag.

Kozlov tags in and he gives Slater a head butt and then he sends Slater into the turnbuckles and then he kicks him in the chest. Barrett distracts Kozlov and that allows Slater to hit the inverted DDT and Gabriel hits the 450 Splash for the three count.

Winners: Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel

After the match, The Corre attack Marella and Kozlov.

Big Show’s music plays and it is combined with Kane’s as they come to the ring.

Corre stops beating up Santino and Vladimir. Kane sends Gabriel into the ringside barrier and then Kane works over Barrett while Show punches Slater. Show kicks Jackson while Kane deals with Barrett. Santino checks on Kozlov while Kane and Show give Jackson a double choke slam.